Something was missing in my life. I knew that for sure. What I wasn’t sure about was WHAT it was that was missing. By all intents and purposes you could have said I had it all. I am happily married to my high school sweetheart. I have two beautiful, healthy kids, and a successful career that I enjoy tremendously. I have a wonderful relationship with my mom and my sister, and great friends.
I was moving along in life; living up to the standards society has set in terms of owning a home and living a prosperous life. Occasionally I even went to church. I have believed in Jesus since I was 8 years old, and I was under the impression that that was enough to constitute being faithful and being a Christian. I was what I would call a “church hopper” meaning I had been to several different churches, never really making one my home simply because I had no idea what that meant and didn’t think I needed anything from the church. When I would go to church, I would try to come in late so that I wouldn’t have to sing or be around the singing. That was just weird. Then there were the people who put their hands in the air while they sang. Was that really necessary? Did they really think they were going to be closer to God by doing that I didn’t need to sing or put my hands in the air to be closer God. Just gracing the Lord with my presence every once in awhile had to be enough, right?
Wrong. I had no idea what I was missing. I obviously was searching for something more. Little did I realize God was waiting patiently for me to figure out the void in my life. He knew what I was missing, but I was too prideful and embarrassed to admit how much I needed to be closer to Him.
One day I was talking with one of my clients about this very subject. I was expressing my concern that I had not ever found a church that really resonated with me. I had always felt uncomfortable. He was so excited about his church, it really impressed me. He asked me to come and I accepted. When I walked in to The Journey, I immediately was welcomed by people who were genuine and didn’t pressure or push me into conversations; they just wanted to get to know me. I was overcome with emotion the first three times I went to the Journey. I felt so unworthy of all this immediate friendship, which I now know to be the meaning of fellowship. Through learning more from the pastors, I realized I wanted to learn even more.
My mother, my sister, and I are very close. They were the first people to notice a change in me. I told tell them how excited I was, and I have to admit they were skeptical because I had formed a bit of a habit of—like I said—“church hopping”. My sister was the first one to come with me. She was filled with emotion just as I was. The next Sunday my mom came with us. We were all three sharing an amazing experience together. The funny part is that we didn’t know what were missing out on. Our relationship has gone to a new level by finding a true love for Jesus at The Journey. We never made the connection between faith, family, and fellowship until we came to The Journey. Jesus and the Word is that connection. Through my community group, Bible studies, and weekly message I am learning so much about how God wants me to be as a wife, mother, and simply a human being.
On January 10, 2010 I was baptized, along with my mom and my sister. I am so honored to have shared that experience with them. I am proud to now be as Beth Moore would say “weird” for Jesus. I sing my heart out at church and raise my hands to honor Him. It feels amazing to want to be close to God and to finally have let down my guard to let Him into my life.
